We Have Back.

  I do realize the title depecits so much nonsense but all I am saying is; finish reading before you cancel me.

    Guys, 2020 has been wild. So wild that in the last 4 years the most I have stayed in my Fathers house was a whole week and now, I have been here for close to 3months. I feel very punished 😫.

I have however decided to share my wildest day in 2020 so far, I wish I had pictures to insert but that is another wild story. I might share both if I am feeling generous enough (there is a wildly acceptably creepy thirsty gif here, na only you no see am).

 I made a decision to attend at the very least over 80% of my classes second semester (now that I think of it, we still dey second semester o💀), I had this particular 7am course on Tuesdays, Thursdays and I was trying my hardest to avoid any gbasgbos with anyone.

I had skipped the last Thursday's class to go enjoy MarleyFest, so I was pretty hyped to make up for it with my this fateful Thursday class but the roaches were not pleased apparently.

I jerked awake a little past 5am to the sound of flapping in my ear. Ha, Egbami,I was freaking out the best way I could because what is this thing flapping wings against my inner ear and what have I done to deserve this punishment.

I hurriedly messaged my sister on WhatsApp, she gave directives on what to do ”heat warm oil and put it in your ear then tilt it to the side, e go commot. Pour water for ear, e go commot. Do gbimgbim with your hand, e go commot”, I tried it all o, e no commot. What I did not know at this time was that the roach had travelled down to sit pretty at my eardrum.

My brother told me to get to a professional so as to not spoil my eardrum while trying to get the roach out.

   Around 7am I jumped on a bike to agbowo to see a doctor and get ”professional advice”, lol, thinking back now I should have just kept my money. Walked into the ”clinic” told the Nurses I han emergency, cockroach in my ear and I was trying to get to class (at this point I was still being optimistic). At this point I would have to state that religion might be our demise in Nigeria. The Nurses instructed me to wait for doctor as he was doing his morning devotion and that was more important than my emergency, in my mind I was livid and freaking out but what could I do? 

I waited. 5, 10, 15, 20minutes Doctor never come, I kept saying ”i don suffer” in my mind. I walked up to the Nurses requested for the Doctor again. He came out about 5 minutes after, walked straight into his office and shut the door for ”morning devotion”. 

He called me into his office about 3minutes after, I told him ”Doctor, there's a roach in my ear and I would like to get it removed.”, Man said to let him ”inspect it” the way he aggressively bent my neck, (ha😭💀) he now decided to put some sort of protractor in my ear, the instrument stabbed my ear and inflicted a lot of pain in my soul. After about 3minutes of the ordeal Doctor referred me to some other Doctor and I left the clinic in more pain than I arrived there.

I got back to my room a very cranky, beaten cry baby. I remember telling Joseph I had a roach in my ear and he didn't believe me 😫, I wouldn'tkd have believed me either sha. I decided to sleep lying on the ear esmaybe I would wake to a miracle but NOTHING.

Eventually entered school for my evening class which was supposedly ”important” but ended after about 10minutes because Thespians were jubilating a win at the quadrangle which made it difficult for us to hear our lecturer.

Left school for Agbowo in search of a plunger tiny enough to put me out of my misery, I couldn't find any but I found Black hair styling big pins, I purchased a pack of that and ear drops; I was ready to save myself.💪🏾

I had Tolu wear my HuntersLamp,look into my ear and remove the roach with the hairpin. Needless to say it was a 2days ordeal of tears and tears but we got every bit of the roach out and I did well to serenade my sister with pictures. 

 I learnt that while it was a very bizarre incident it is not that uncommon, cockroaches are attracted to warm dark places and the human ear is a perfect combination. 

Lifewise this taught me to be flexible and creative as the power to get you out of most problems would lie in your creativity. Also be calm a collected, everything would turn out fine eventually.

   I was so glad but little did I know 2020 was just starting to scar me.

I have missed you.

💕✨