Beauty is the least.

 I think we never fully grasp how beautiful the moments we get to enjoy with the people we hold dear can be.

I never used to go ‘visit’ friends or hang out because I always felt it would be too far from my comfort zone and what would I be doing? Pressing my phone? I can do that in my room.

Over the last 3years, I have grown to enjoy the company of the people I like to call mine. There is never a schedule for being around people, it is just your presence in their space.

You can not laugh all through because that would be maddening but when you do get to laugh over the silliest things your laughter echoes in a singsong way it wouldn't if you were alone because you might have not found it so funny.

There is something in being comfortable enough to mix energy with other people with no fear of it being stolen or reciprocated.

On energy, I used to not understand mine for a while. There was this phase I was so prisoner by the ‘avoiding trouble ‘ concept I forgot to live. That is funny because I still got into trouble.

I kept my face blank and never really tried to move first to anything because I feared being shut down or my energy being stolen.

Pretty sure there were times I was the ugly energy in the room because I was just there and people didn't know how to react to me.

Life teaches tho. If you pay attention to the patterns or take enough time to reflect you know when it's time to grow.

It comes as a subtle thing and if you are not one to read the signs you might miss it but I believe every phase we enter, every person we become is because we accepted the change cookie.

It is quite beautiful because all your personalities blend into one that you need when the time is right and you get that every time till you die.

Living is a trial and error thing.

That being said you are alive today, so try again.

This is not meant to be a motivation thing in any way, I'm just trying to get the ringing in my ear to stop.

DN’21