I Am Grateful For The People That Talk About My Mental Illness Online - So I Don’t Have To.
Easter break is almost over. I had a long list of things I said I was going to do to be productive and happy but I caught a cold on Sunday.
I spent the bulk of Monday being in my feelings till this article came to me.
This is my last attempt to save my break and feel good about the long weekend.
I love it when I go on Twitter and I see someone quote tweet “OMG, I have no original experience “ to a tiktok about someone exposing the weirdest stuff about themselves.
Why do I love it? The inclusivity.
Because I look at those posts and go “Damm, I feel seen”. How do you know what I do? Or How do you know that I think about these weird stuff? Why are you as weird as I am? Are we the same person separated by gender and location??
This is the best time to say that some things are really weird and I say a prayer or two for you people because I am not one of you. Some things are just silly and weird and that is where I exist.
While writing this, I asked M “Do you consider yourself someone devoid of mental illness?” - he said, “I don't know, I haven't been diagnosed “. I must say I have taken pleasure in diagnosing myself a few times, like 30% of the Twitter population because “self-awareness✨.”
There are a lot of things I consider normal but find out they are not when I go on Twitter. A lot of people do not have voices in their head. They just go about their day-to-day life with empty heads literally.
Having voices in your head is known as an auditory hallucination - it is common with mental illnesses like psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, or severe depression.
If I was not on Twitter that day, I would have missed this life-altering information. It didn't alter my life in any way.
All of that is very funny to me because I do not remember a time there was not a voice in my head. Heck, I have such exciting conversations that sometimes I am moved to speak with my mouth. Soliloquizing like an actual mad babe.
This is not information the FBI will get out of me tho, I'm only sharing because the people that know me know this.
When someone makes a video or tweet and puts out some weird information like the one below. I think “My man!”, while I'll probably never like the tweet - it is my civic duty to camp in the quotes and read as many reactions to it as I can! Last year, I would have bookmarked but Thanks Elon😒!
Some of these people get judged, rightfully so sometimes but I don't know how to explain it to someone who has never done it. Creating a scenario where you are in a heated argument and you are winning because you are saying everything that is on your mind is the next best thing to pounded yam.
Or how terrible the guilt of the self-realization that hits when you realize you just organized and executed the perfect gut-wrenching and tear-jerking speech for the funeral of someone who is very much alive and you have no beef with.
The possibilities are quite endless and traumatic but it's very nice to live in a society where even the things you think flaw you are not so uncommon. I feel like it makes life a bit better especially if you are a bit grown and have been judged or gotten into trouble at different points of your life because of these traits.
When 9 people know about a weird thing, it does not make it less weird but it makes it acceptably weird. I do not know the kind of community we are building but Twitter user Sodiq is a good reference in every conversation.
“That is so weird, who else on this earth does that??” they ask, it is up to you to pull out the tweet from your screenshot or bookmarks and they go “Hmm, maybe you're not that weird”. And you suddenly feel like a member of the community again!
I am grateful for the people who put themselves out there to represent people like me who are still picking up the courage. The educational content they create and how amazing it is to be so shameless and confident. This does not include the people who diagnose themselves with OCD or ADHD because they clean their room once every week as a normal human should.
In the world of content, I am grateful for the people who talk about my mental illnesses so I don't have to.
P.S. Do not self-diagnose, get the appropriate checkups done and live a decent life.
Nice, nice read!!!
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ReplyDeleteHad a sagasm reading this. Even though it's familiar knowledge, reading through gave me a refresher, like a narration of a dream that's almost forgotten.
ReplyDeleteI would like to note an interesting point, to guard against possibility of self-misdiagnosis, and to ensure care while doing it so as not to invalidate your experience:- Auditory hallucination is not just having a voice in your head ( in fact, I think it's very strange that "a lot" of people, as noted by you, do not have this; seeing as I've never met someone without it), but Auditory hallucination is a real experience of hearing a voice speaking out loud which noone else hears. Often times, people with auditory hallucinations answer calls when nobody has called them and they can't but help responding a lot of times because to them, it's reality. It's not a voice that can be ignored or hidden. It could come in form of a song, an instruction, advice and a lot of times as derogatory remarks about self or others.
It is an important hallmark of schizophrenia and it's always important for physicians to differentiate from the regular "headvoice" which may sometimes be a bit bothersome but not the same.
That out of the way, I think you've come a long way despite the fact. I see you going all the way and I pray nothing hinders you. Keep smashing those little goals, bit by bit, I think you're gonna be great! Cheers mademoiselles 🍷